I always say that my blog is for my mom so that she can know what I am up to. When I say “mom,” I do mean my actual mother, but I also mean my close friends – especially close friends who are artists themselves. This blog is specifically for my friend Anne who is awesome. A for Awesome.
You see, Anne shared one of my art posts on Facebook yesterday. It was a link to my new Fiverr page. Yesterday, I was really frustrated and that gesture of support from a friend meant a lot.
Anyone who was tried to create something beautiful and to share it over a long period of time knows that unleashing the creative urge is like tying an extra horse to a cart. But this horse is not tied to the yoke and is not pulling the same direction as the other horses. It’s probably tied to the side and is pulling the cart off the road. Also, this horse comes accompanied by a wild stallion that is making ALL the horses try to run away and join the freedom-loving pony herd. There are many conflicting desires that an artist needs keep in creative tension. And, I’m not talking about anything esoteric here. Try the classic “making something I care about and believe is really important” balanced with “making something that I can sell so that I can eat” for starters. But, there’s a lot more too – for instance, solitude (necessary to the creative process) and community (also necessary to the creative process.) A lot of what I do on a daily basis is trying different things to keep these forces moving the cart forward rather than driving it off a cliff. So, if I really want to share with my mom and friends and really, anyone else who might be encouraged or learn something from my stories, this is an aspect of my work that I need to include.
Back to why this post is for Anne: Yesterday, I tried a whole bunch of things as experiments. Fivver was one of them. I spent about 20 minutes on it. And, honestly, I was sort of embarrassed about it. The photo was low-quality and my idea for a freelancing gig was half-baked. But, 20 minutes was all I had to spend, and I needed to be trying something. So, I made the page, published it, and promoted it on Facebook.
This Fiverr post represents my best attempt at facing all the challenges that come with trying to lead a creative life. I was short on time, short on skill, short on ideas. But, I had to do *something.* I did my best, and I was ashamed of it.
And, Anne, God bless her heart, shared it and commented.
Let me say that, as an artist, I don’t need people to pretend to want to buy my stuff in order to not hurt my feelings. But, there is a huge difference between people whose relationship with me is primarily centered on art (clients, potential clients, colleages, mentors) and people who are my friends whether I’m an artist or not. From close friends and family, yes, please, I need a pat on the back once in a while. Because, usually, what I need most is just enough hope to take the next best steps today. That’s it.
So, Anne, thank you. When you like my stuff – even my worst attempts – it means the world to me.